Halloween
by butterfly collective
Summary: Set just before "Glimmer of Twilight", Matt and C.J. spend the holiday apart facing their own ghosts. Just borrowing the characters.
1. Chapter 1

It's Halloween week and here's one of maybe a couple stories, in its first of two parts. Hope you enjoy it and thanks for reading. The events take place not long before "Glimmer of Twilight"

* * *

The cool air which rattled through the tree branches signaled the coming of winter to the valley. It soared over like a flock of geese over the frigid lake that would freeze over soon enough. Nestled in the shelter of the Rockies, were a cluster of ranches, many owned by families for generations. They raised cattle and horses; they grew crops of alfalfa, wheat and some years, corn which stretched all the way to the base of the foothills that jutted up from the ground in front of the mountain range.

On every ranch, the men, women and even the children during summer months and vacation times toiled over their acreage and together the myriad of families knitted a fabric together that created a community. Sewing together its residents who were by nature rugged individualists into a cohesive family. Necessary for survival of their ancestors during the harsh winter months even though modern technology had offered them many advantages, the people who lived in this valley still relied on each other during times of crisis and during moments of celebration as well.

When the barn had caught on fire, breaking the still of nightfall with the crackling sounds of wood and the screams of horses trapped inside, it had galvanized everyone in the valley into action. Wives had rousted husbands out of bed and sisters had helped brothers saddle up their horses and head through the icy rain towards the glowering horizon.

The sounds of the horses screaming had waked her up as well from an even deeper sleep. She had blindly reached for anything that might give her protection over her flannel pajamas. She absently tied her hair back in a ponytail, slung on a hat and made her way to the born. The others had left already and so no one noticed her until she rode up to the group of ranchers in various attire standing in front of the burning building while others rushed into the flames and the falling timber to get as many horses out as could be saved.

The fire had been stealth, smoldering from some unknown source for a while the families had been eating dinner, helping their children with their homework and getting ready for bed. The woman had been asleep too, as she so often had been since she arrived in the valley a little more than a month earlier. But instinct drove her to the barn to tack up the buckskin mare that stood waiting in her stall and to get aboard and duck her head as she nudged the mare with her legs out of the barn. If the mare cared that she carried a stranger on her back, she gave no notice flowing easily enough from a canter into a gallop as the woman leaned forward urging her on across the icy meadow, the bonfire in her sights.

"What is she doing here," a wizened rancher had asked when she appeared out of the foggy mist that had cloaked the valley.

Another man shrugged.

"We need all the help we can get or we're going to lose some mares."

The woman dismounted, struggling a bit with her wrist encased in a heavy wrap. The brisk air had nipped at her face the entire ride but she still didn't notice as she took in the action around her before loosely tying the mare that she had ridden to a nearby tree and headed silently into the collapsing barn, a halo of fire surrounding the remnants of its entrance.

"What the…"

"Slim, we need you over here," an older rancher said.

Slim ran on over there but kept his eyes on the entrance to see if the woman would return or if she too would be swallowed up by the dripping embers and the thick black smoke.

"I think something's happened to her," Slim said finally.

Other eyes turned towards the barn and nothing happened, except that another rancher pulled out one mare that had been blindfolded with a jacket.

"You'd better go find her," he said, "It's that Reade girl."

An older man started towards the barn when suddenly he saw a figure emerge, an outline really through the thick wall of smoke illuminated by the fire.

A woman with soot on her face and in one of her hands, a make shift lead rope attached to a chestnut mare that she had led into the clearing.

The barn had been a complete loss but every mare had been led out of it alive and the ranchers had moved them to a pasture closer to the main barn to spend the night outside. The mares had already begun growing their coats so they would be fine until the morning.

Many of the ranchers had gathered at the home of the woman who owned that ranch and ran it since the death of her husband and the departure of her son to a life he had built for himself off of the ranch. So she and several of the other women started mixing up a batch of beef stew to fill the stomachs of the others and plenty of hot coffee as well.

But not before Thea made sure to look after the woman who had saved three horses only minutes after getting out of her bed and heading out into the night on horseback. After the third mare rescued, the woman had just stood there, motionless like a statue holding the mare's halter until someone took the mare. Thea had gone up and had gestured to her top hand, Jed and he had taken off his own coat and wrapped it around the woman who had suddenly began to feel the cold permeate her body. Her breathing quickened and her legs weakened, someone stepped forward to keep her from falling onto the frozen ground.

Somehow she had returned to the ranch though how she hadn't remembered; in fact the whole night to her had become a blur of sharp images which had slowly faded as the warmth of the fire began to stroke her body.

She now sat in the living room, wrapped up in blankets while the fire crackled in front of her. Someone had handed her a warm damp cloth to wipe the soot off of her face and she did that, her eyes still mesmerized by the flames.

"Here, this will help warm you up…"

Someone put a mug of something warm in her hand and tasting it, she found it to be hot chocolate, its creamy sweetness warming her throat.

"Thank you…"

Thea smiled and crowfeet appeared around her eyes.

"That was quite some work you did tonight," she said, "I should be thanking you for saving those mares Kelly."

The other woman shrugged.

"I grew up on a ranch and we always helped each other when it was needed," she said, "Everyone pitched in no matter what."

Thea sat on the couch next to her.

"You want some stew?"

Kelly thought about it, not knowing if her stomach could hold any food. She looked indecisive and the older woman nodded.

"It's okay," she said, "You've been so sick, we'll keep you on the simpler foods."

Kelly nodded and wrapped the blankets tighter around her. Thea touched her on the shoulder and then stood up.

"I'll bring you some warm cereal," she said, "You've got to have something to fill you up after what you did."

The woman left and Kelly kept staring into the fire, her mind miles away from where she sat. Someplace far enough away where no one could follow.

* * *

Matt tossed his duffel bag onto the small bed, a cot really inside a musty room in a motel on the outskirts of a small town in Germany. Outside were narrow cobble streets which wove like ribbons between taller buildings, some quite old and the noises he heard now were honking cars and loud music. The month of October meant partying throughout Germany as part of Oktoberfest. He had hitched a ride to Bonn after taking an overnight train to Lausanne, Switzerland from southern France.

He still had a day's worth of traveling on his clothes so he shed them and hit the shower inside a bathroom that more resembled a closet. But the water had been warm and he left a few minutes feeling much more refreshed. He looked in the mirror at the growth of his beard, not having shaved in a couple of weeks. He kept it from growing too much but in most places, he had been lucky enough to find a mirror to use and he hated shaving blind.

He cleaned his face and then headed to look out the window of the two story building into the crowded street. The throngs of people celebrating the holiday had overwhelmed the flow of traffic but no one seemed to mind. The mood appeared festive though that could change the more people became liquored up. He changed into fresh clothes over his money belt and after looking around the room a final time, he left to find a place to pick up some food and drink.

The street that met him as he left the building was filled with groups of people talking and laughing as they walked by where he stood. A couple of bars were open with more people spilling into the street. A couple guys slapped him on the back as they passed him, and he looked around to see if any of the places also served food.

"What you looking for handsome," a woman said.

She clearly spoke English but quite a few Germans did and she looked in the partying mood decked out in a dress covered with a colorful sweater.

"A place to eat actually."

She considered that carefully, and then pointed straight ahead.

"There's a place that serves a side menu of American food," she said, "alongside the more traditional dishes of course."

She seemed friendly and most importantly, she didn't look like she recognized him or his face. During his travels, he had come upon newsstands on city streets, inside stores and airports which included magazines with his picture on the cover and a headline with some speculation about why one of the world's most renowned business men had suddenly dropped out of sight several months ago. But he hadn't read the articles, choosing to forget that part of his life for as long as possible, until the restlessness inside him had subsided.

"I'm Clarissa by the way," she said, "I'm from the United States originally myself just like you."

Maybe she did recognize him.

"How did you…"

She smiled brightly.

"Your accent of course," she said, "I'd guess Texan."

He smiled back.

"You guessed right," He said, "I grew up outside of Houston. My name's Matt."

"I'm from Boston myself," she said, "I even went to Harvard Business School."

That piqued his interest.

"Did you know a…"

She waited for him to finish but he didn't, realizing it was silly to think that she could possibly had known his best friend who had attended law school there years ago. A flash of her appeared in front of him, of her smiling face framed by her dark hair, her eyes pensive. Next came the stab of guilt.

He hadn't even talked to C.J. since he left her standing alone in his beach house that night after she had tried to talk him out of leaving. No, running away he admitted to himself, after all that's what he had been doing. He guessed she was running the investigative firm in L.A. with Roy and that she might be worrying about him, wondering how he was doing. But every time he thought about calling her, something stopped him from picking up the phone. Never mind that much of the time during his travels he had been far away from a phone line. But then that had been part of the plan to get away from everyone and everything he knew.

"Did I know who," she prompted.

He blinked his eyes and looked at the woman in front of him.

"No one really…would you like to get something to eat?"

"Are you buying?"

He smiled.

"I think I can handle that," he said, "I've been traveling a lot and I just got to Germany today."

She nodded.

"I've been traveling mostly on work," she said, "I work for a financial consulting firm in London but I'm using up my vacation time and doing some traveling."

She slipped her arm in his and tugged at him.

"Come on, you buy, I promise you I'll order up something good," she said, "The cuisine here can be a little tricky."

"I was stationed at a base in Frankfort for a couple of months when I was in the military," Matt said, "but it's changed since then."

"This town used to be a lot smaller," Clarissa said, "but the commercial business district has been very busy."

"Let's not talk about business," he said as they neared the small eatery.

She shrugged.

"Fine with me handsome," she said as they followed a crowd of people inside.

Matt looked around and his brow rose at the décor. She noticed his glances around the room filled with people chatting and eating at tables while waiters delivered trays heaping with plates of food and glasses of beer.

"It's Halloween soon," she said, "You remember celebrating that in the States don't you?"

He nodded, remembering when he had been a kid growing up on a ranch and he and other ranch kids had dressed up in costumes and held parties, then gone to a nearby abandoned barn dimly lit to sit on dried out bales of hay to shine flashlights at each other and tell ghost stories. Invariably, they wound up scaring each other silly.

"I didn't know what day it was," he admitted, "I don't really keep track of the calendar."

She led him to a table in the corner, with two chairs waiting for them.

"Really," she said, "I envy you that. I live by the calendar like I know in two weeks and one day I'm due at a board of directors meeting in Milan to give a presentation."

"Sounds like you're not looking forward to it."

They ordered some beers from a waitress.

"Well I get paid good money so I can fake it."

He leaned forward.

"Do you like your work?"

She seemed to think about it.

"The money certainly and the company I keep," she said, "I don't feel challenged enough all the time…what about you?"

"I loved it for a while," he said, "Making some of the business deals was more like high stakes poker but after a while, it got stale so I turned to something else…"

She digested that.

"What about a personal life," she asked, "You married?"

He sighed, as the waitress delivered their beers and took their orders but the question stood between them even as she did order for them both, telling him to trust her judgment.

Then she picked up where they had left off.

"Because I don't see you wearing a ring, of course many guys still don't…"

He sipped his beer thoughtfully.

"I was engaged…it didn't work out."

"Oh, well what does one say about that but there's more fish in the big sea?"

He nodded.

"Something like that but I really loved her," he said, "or so I thought but now I think I just wanted a wife."

She sipped her own drink carefully.

"Oh really…so you were ready to settle down and you had it all planned out and she bailed on you?"

He shook his head.

"No…it was mutual," he said, "It just wasn't going to work out."

"I almost got married once," she said, "but I got smart and decided to take the London job instead. I was too young to be tied down to that kind of life."

Matt could understand that having been footloose and fancy free himself but he had been so ready to settle down with one woman or so he thought when he had been back in L.A.. Then again maybe not, because during his travels, he had already hooked up with several women in different cities or towns in different countries though most of that had been in the first month. It hadn't taken him very long to lose interest in that lifestyle.

"I used to be like that," he said, "I even tried it again when I took off but it gets old awfully quick."

She looked at him in surprise.

"Really, a great looking man like yourself," she said, "I would think you'd be making up for lost time."

He sighed.

"I'd already lost too much time for what mattered."

* * *

She sat in the living room, while the ranchers begun to leave to return to their own homes in the dead of night. The warmth of the fire still blanketed her body which had begun to relax beneath the covers. Thea had brought her some warm cereal which she had eaten once she realized she had been hungry after all. It had just been so long since she had been out of bed and someplace else. She had vague memories of this living room with its huge stone fireplace and furniture designed for comfort rather than appearance. Photographs lined the walls opposite from the fireplace and a couple paintings of landscapes hung also.

She had tried closing her eyes but it had been too early for that. The adrenalin that had rushed through when she had heard the horses still kept her from sleeping. And until exhaustion again overtook her, she would only see him. Out in the world somewhere looking for her, sending his men to every corner of the earth to find her and bring her back. She knew by now he had that reach.

Her body shivered then despite the warmth and she tried to bundle even deeper under the wraps. Thea walked in with one of the hands that she knew to be Jed. He had stood tall over her bed a few times, his hair peppered with grey, his face lined and his voice gravely. But when he sat down, his eyes had been softer and his touch, gentle.

They sat in chairs nearby with cups of coffee.

"Well we'll go out and check what's left in the morning," Jed said, "but there's not much left."

Thea nodded as if she had been used to bad news and Kelly knew that as a rancher's wife and then his widow, she had a lot of experience in this area.

"All the ranchers have agreed to pitch in to stable some of the mares that need to be inside," she said, "We wouldn't want old Diablo to drop by and steal some of them."

Jed shook his head.

"No body's seen the stallion lately," he said, "and it's already started to get really cold for October which means a rough winter ahead."

Thea nodded thoughtfully and then she smiled.

"Did you get some pumpkins at the market today?"

"I picked up a half dozen," he said, "The biggest I could fine. The kids should like them at the party."

Thea chuckled.

"What I think they like most of all is listening to your ghost stories around the fire place."

Kelly watched them speak from where she sat, wondering what they were talking about and then she remembered.

"It's Halloween…"

Thea looked over at her.

"Why yes it is," she said, "and every year we invite all the ranchers' kids to come here and have a party. They dress up and come here to eat plenty of food, we have contests and it's a whole lot of fun for the adults as much as the children."

Jed nodded.

"You see, this time of year we're looking at a stretch of months when it's going to be snowing a lot and really too cold to be outside unless we have to and we have get togethers like this to keep from going stir crazy."

Kelly smiled slightly.

"It sounds nice…"

Thea sipped her coffee, looking at the young woman with the patchwork of healing injuries on her face and her eyes…that seemed most of the time to be looking somewhere that others couldn't see. When the young woman had first been brought into her home by the men who had found her miles away, she had barely been conscious. Of course she had been filled with questions but one look her way by her son Jonathan kept her quiet. She had known this woman under a different name at a different time when she had visited the ranch years ago as her son's girlfriend and she had liked her friendly nature and her spirited side, how she didn't let herself be dominated by anyone.

A sharp contrast to the woman who had been hiding out at her ranch under as many layers of protection as the federal government could afford her while it sought the individuals who had kidnapped her and held her captive for over a month. The woman hadn't been much help there, telling them very little about what had happened to her.

Her eyes held so much as did the rigid posture of her body and the feeling that Thea had that she could take off running any moment if her legs would carry her. The doctor whom Jonathan had brought with him had watched over her after stitching up her face and her hands, which bore jagged cuts on them that had dried shut. An infected wound on her shoulder had seized hold of her body sending her into septic shock. They had medicated her as best they could and Thea had spent hours sitting behind the comatose woman she had only met once, wondering if behind her closed eyes she dreamed.

But Kelly had rallied and had gotten stronger after waking up one morning, still her body remained weakened, her injuries in the process of healing including a broken wrist. The least of the damage done to her, Thea suspected.

"You can come the party if you want," Thea said, "if you feel up to it."

Kelly nodded.

"That'd be nice," she said, "When I grew up, we used to turn this barn that had been left abandoned into a haunted house and we'd tell stories trying to outdo each other."

She had remembered being there, sitting on a bale of hay wrapped up in the jacket belonging to her best friend. He had given it to her when he had noticed her rubbing her arms when the air had suddenly turned chilly.

Those days and the people who shared them seemed a million miles away right now.

Thea prepared to get up.

"Well it's getting late and I think I'll turn in," she said, "Kelly, you need to get up to bed and get some sleep, okay?"

Kelly sighed, feeling that all she had done was sleep for as long as she could remember, her memories of being awake had faded. And most of them she hadn't wanted to revisit anyway. She hesitated, looking at the angry reddish lines on her fingers, from wounds she hadn't remembered.

Thea looked closer at her.

"It'll be okay," she said, "I'm down the hall if you need you and I think I saw the cat settling on your comforter. He'll keep you company."

"I…"

She stood up awkwardly and Thea went to put her arm around her, understanding that the younger woman feared being alone in the darkness.

"We'll get you changed into some other pajamas and get you settled into bed and I'll sit with you until you fall asleep."

Kelly just nodded as they walked up the staircase to the upper floor and she went into her bedroom where Thea found her some fresh bedclothes to wear. She just looked at them for a while, and slowly began to take off the pajamas covered in soot, gingerly to protect her wrapped wrist with her eyes closed tightly. Most of the pain from her injuries and the exertion of fleeing the man who had held her captivity had faded along with the bruising and when she pulled the pajama top of her, she looked at the thick bandage covering her shoulder and the injury which had almost killed her. But the rest of her body felt like a stranger to her, because it now belonged to someone else. She couldn't even look at herself now because she still felt his hands there, all over her skin, his breath on her face and the cold floor against her back. The man who had been her nightmare as long as she could remember, who right now had sent his best men out in the world looking for her.

And she knew he would find her and take it from her again.

* * *

Matt lay back on the bed, as the woman next to him slept beside him. She curled underneath the covers with her arm wrapped around the pillow beneath her halo of hair. They had eaten the delicious food and some tall glass mugs of beer and then they had walked with the crowds of other people to check out some of the different parties at other bars on the street. Even a Halloween party for American military personnel and tourists, where pumpkins glowed on the window sills and plastic skeletons hung from the ceiling, along with ghosts and a witch riding on a broom.

Clarissa had grabbed his hand and had taken him on the cramped dance floor and they had held onto each other as the music played both thinking about someone else far away.

When they finally returned to his motel, it had been natural to ask her in for a nightcap, to start kissing in the dimly lit room and not even necessary to ask her to spend the night.

But now looking out into the shadows dancing on the walls from the street lights shining through the blinds, he listened to the celebration still taking place outside. His bag remained packed by the door, in case he decided to leave quickly. He had never unpacked it during the three months he had been moving on from one country to the next. Never knowing how long he would be staying in one place just knowing it wouldn't be for very long until the wanderlust that owned him now nudged him forward once again.

Clarissa had been one of different women who had shared his bed since he left L.A. but he hadn't thought that she would be the next one until the small band inside that last bar had played a familiar song, the one he had hoped to play at the wedding reception while he danced with his bride, their first dance of their marriage.

But now wrapped up in a bed sheet, he thought of another woman, far away probably sitting in the office at the penthouse suite in the midst of the hustle and bustle of the city that he had left. On the phone with a client perhaps, or sifting through files that filled her desk most of the time and entirely capable of handling even the heaviest workload anyone could throw at her.

She might have plans for Halloween for working with Roy to host a party at the office for the employees to close out another busy work day by doing something fun for several hours. He could just see her decorating the office before the other employees even showed up for work that morning.

He sighed and closed his eyes. Life no doubt continued on in L.A. in his absence, the hole in the fabric mending itself shut with the passage of time. He had no idea where he was going and when L.A. would be on the horizon again.

The woman stirred next to him, moving closer to his warmth. He tried to close his eyes to go to sleep, wanting to keep reality at bay a while longer and for the dream world to sweep in and take him there instead.

* * *

C.J. woke up, drenched in sweat and shivering despite the warmth of the comforter. Her heart pounded in her chest and her breathing roared in her ears. She pushed out with her arms to ward but they only sliced through the emptiness in front of her. She forced herself into a sitting position, trying to push the panic way, the sudden wave of disorientation and disassociation which would send her adrenalin spinning out of control. The latter, she knew all too well because whenever he came into her bed at night or had the guards bring her into his, she learned how to keep some small part of who she had been locked up tight inside her, some place he couldn't invade, outside of his reach.

This hadn't been a dream. The smell of his cologne which sickened her, the calluses on the fingers that stroked her skin and the weight of his body against hers, while she closed her eyes and willed her mind to find its own way to the garden, the one with the endless rows of beautiful flowers, where the sounds of crickets chirping soothed her. Where the man who she loved had been waiting to counter the man she despised.

But neither of them was inside the bedroom now. She only saw the ranch cat lying on the foot of her bed curled up asleep. Her breathing began to slow, her heartbeat feel less intense against the walls of her chest and her vision less blurred, the tingling that overwhelmed her extremities began to ebb.

She put her hand over her face, as thought returned of the place she lived now. The people who had been taking care of her and the last several hours spent out saving the mares trapped inside the burning barn. The soft singing that had greeted her when she first awoke in this safe place. Thea had sat in the familiar chair beside her bed telling her a story about when she had first married her husband inside the living room of this same house when Kelly had finally drifted off.

Her last thoughts had been of Matt actually, wondering where he had gone and if he had found the peace he sought. Was he still running away or had he began running towards something? She had seen through photographs that he had been many different places, met many different people and the snapshots of his journey had showed him being happy. She had seen each and every one, a new photo each time the man who held her came to take from her, reminding her in carefully chosen words how easily a man traveling on his own could suddenly disappear in most countries in the world.

She finally settled back into bed, pulling the covers back over her, gently as not to awake the sleeping feline and stared at the ceiling most the rest of the night, unwilling to let either man get close to her. The man she despised turned her into someone she hated. The woman that Matt had known burnt to ashes. She knew she never wanted him to see her and remember what had been.

* * *

Miles away, a half a world away, another man lay in his bed, inside a hotel room on the Asian continent. He had flown in on business, the kind that could only be conducted in person, face to face in a world where transactions had become more electronic and less personal. The trade off for technology was a loss of humanity in those who used it.

The men he had sent looking for the woman who had escaped had come back with the news that their searches had been fruitless. But there were only few places to hide, and they would search each and every one, they would find her and bring her back to him.

The man thought he needed to stretch the net of his search to his contacts inside high places, including the government of his adopted country. He knew of only a handful of agencies that could successfully drop someone off the face of the earth because that's where they focused their expertise and he had people planted all of these places, hiding in plain sight.

He reached across the bed to pick up his phone, his eyes falling on a worn photo of a young woman with striking eyes and long dark hair around her elegant shoulders, her arms around a young boy about six with dark eyes that traveled across time and space to stare back at themselves.


	2. Chapter 2

Hi, here's the middle section, hope you enjoy it, thanks for the feedback and happy holiday!

* * *

Matt woke up and the woman who had slept next to him was in the cramped bathroom running her fingers through her hair in front of the cracked mirror.

She saw him sitting up still wrapped in his sheets watching her.

"I didn't come prepared," she said, "and I've got a date with some friends for lunch one train stop over."

He nodded and she came back wearing her same clothes and bent down to kiss him on the mouth. Her lips felt soft against his and when she pulled away, she smiled at him.

"I'll be back in town later tonight," she said, "There's a bash at the bar on the corner and if you bring a lady, you get a free round of some of the best beer in the world."

That mildly interested him as he didn't have plans for the rest of his stay in town however long it would be.

"Sounds like a plan. I'll see you then if I'm still in town."

She nodded and put her blond hair back behind her ears before fetching her purse.

"See you later if you do show," she said, "and Happy Halloween."

He said goodbye, and just like that she disappeared as the door closed behind her. Matt got out of bed and walked to the shower. The spray of water felt warm if not hot and he closed his eyes as he tried to remember what he had been dreaming about just before he had awakened. He had been inside a burning building with the flames licking the plaster off of the walls and the floor buckling beneath them, its heat soaking through their shoes. She had been telling him they had to keep running or they would never escape.

Then in front of them had been a dark shadow, a silhouette standing there. She had pulled him the other direction down a hallway that seemed to stretch endlessly the further they traveled.

He had awoken at that point and ran his hand through his hair wondering what had just happened. His dreams had settled down after a couple of weeks on the road and he stopped dreaming about his wedding day.

But this one had been different, shaking him awake and leaving him disoriented for several seconds until his vision cleared and he had seen the empty motel room.

It still lingered on his mind as he left the shower and got dressed in his uniform of old jeans and today a chambray shirt. He towel dried his hair as he walked towards the window to look outside. In contrast to the festive atmosphere of the previous night, the streets looked pretty quiet, the bars closed but some shops opening. A couple passerby walking past store keepers who were sweeping debris on the sidewalk. A sight not too much different than what would have greeted him at many towns back in his own country except for one detail which caused his eyes to narrow suddenly.

Across the street stood a man in a dark suit standing outside one of the closed bars that he had dropped by the previous night. He didn't do anything but simply stood frozen like a statue.

* * *

She woke up, this time not remembering her dreams. After staring at the movement of the shadows of tree branches on the ceiling, she had closed her eyes and without realizing it, had drifted off to sleep again. Now some hours later, the sun shone dimly through the curtains into her room and she moved gingerly feeling aches in her muscles from her exertion the night before so she took her time getting out and reaching for her robe. She didn't want to stay in bed any longer, deciding she had spent enough time there already and that it was time to get up and do something productive. The people helping her had a ranch to run and her instincts honed by age and experience from childhood told her to pitch in and help.

Her legs swayed a bit when she walked to the bathroom. She could shower if she did being mindful of her wrist and her shoulder, to keep either from getting wet. So she did that, placing her hands on the walls when she needed her balance. Most of the dizziness had faded but the weakness still remained and she fatigued easily. Nothing that getting back to doing physical work wouldn't cure and it would keep her mind occupied as well, away from other places and things. The warm water soothed her as she stood beneath the spray, which ran over her hair and trickled down her face, causing the healing skin there to itch. She closed her eyes to shut everything else out for just a moment, just letting the water soak her body, the one that felt so much like a stranger to her.

She only needed to remove the bandage on her shoulder to remember why.

A while later, she walked slowly down the staircase to the kitchen back in her pajamas and robe to where Thea had been sitting at the table, with a bowl of hot cereal and a mug of coffee. She was on the phone, her back turned to the doorway.

"Listen…she's doing as well as can be expected but she just appeared at the barn last night…yeah on your mare Sienna…the infection's gone but she's got other injuries we can't see…nightmares and she's afraid to be alone…You can't move her, she'll be safe here in the valley...I know…she needs more than we can give her…I'll talk to you later…"

She hung up the phone and then she turned to see Kelly standing there.

"What are you doing down here," she said.

The younger woman just looked at her, a line of determination on her face.

"I want to help."

"Honey, you're recovering from a bad infection," Thea said, "You need your rest…the doctor said…"

Kelly sighed, looking around the kitchen.

"I'm feeling much better," she said, "and I grew up on a ranch. I can do anything, ride, herd horses or cattle, split fences…"

Thea's face softened.

"I know that," she said, "but you've got to wait until you're stronger."

Kelly's face grew troubled.

"I can't…I can't just lie all there all day and do nothing but think…I need to have something to do…anything."

Thea considered that, knowing what Kelly really meant, that she wanted to be too busy to remember and maybe for right now that was the best thing for her to do until she better recovered.

"Okay, I'll talk to Jed and we'll come up with some work…easy mind you…that you can do…after a week more of rest and you get that bandage off your wrist."

Kelly started to say something but finally just nodded.

"Okay…that's fair enough," she said, "I just feel like I'm ready to do something. I've never been one for just lying around and doing nothing but stare at the ceiling all day."

Thea saw the determination in the woman's eyes and she knew that inside her, lived something strong enough to have brought her here and that would serve to keep her moving towards her recovery.

"Come and sit down here and I'll get you some warm cereal," she said, "We're finalizing the plans for the party tonight."

Kelly's interested perked up.

"I'd like to help with that if you don't mind."

Thea smiled as she placed a bowl of cereal in front of Kelly, who picked up a spoon and started eating it. She realized she felt hungry after all.

"Bonnie…you met her…she's coming over in a little while to help us decorate," she said, "The weather's cutting us a little break today and the kids will be doing some trick or treating before they come here."

Kelly nodded as she ate.

"I could help you make some cider if you have apples."

Thea nodded with a smile.

"We've got a lot of them, preserved in the pantry…perfect for cider," she said, "and the kids drink it all up every year."

Kelly smiled slightly.

"We use to do that," she said, "Bill used to have the cook make a batch of it every year. Bill, he's Houston's daddy…"

She stopped suddenly and closed her eyes to stamp the feelings that threatened to rush right through her like a current knocking her right off her feet. Thea saw her turmoil and rubbed her back with her hand, realizing that once again she had remembered some happiness in her past involving a man that she realized had been very special to the younger woman. At first when she had heard her repeat that name when she had been delirious, she thought she had been talking about the city.

But soon enough she had realized that Houston had represented a person. She had asked her son Jonathan about him and he had just replied in his brusque manner that no one could find Matt and bringing him into the situation would just complicate things further and possibly put his friend in jeopardy. But yes, this Texan businessman had grown up with her and had been her closest friend. Thea sensed some tension in her son's voice but didn't inquire; she just told him during the time that Kelly had been really sick that she needed someone familiar.

"I shouldn't think about the past…"

"Why not…it's an important part of your life," Thea said, "It's part of who you are and what you've become…"

Kelly lowered her head.

"I don't want to think about that either."

"I know it sounds very confusing right now but my son and the others at his agency will sort this out for you," she said, "They'll find a way to protect you from whoever did this…"

Kelly lifted her face up again, a lock of hair over her healing face.

"I know…but there are some things that no one can protect you from."

Thea heard her words and knew that they knew very little about what she had experienced while being held captive for over a month before escaping. She hadn't really talked about it much or shared information with anyone even about the people responsible.

But watching her eating her cereal, she knew that the day would come when she would talk about what had happened. When her mind told her it was time. Until then, everyone else had to be patient and Thea's concern was to provide a comfortable and safe environment for her to heal.

Still, the younger woman's interest in wanting to help out with the Halloween party had to be a good sign and she really did need her help.

* * *

Matt had seen the mysterious man several times that day, catching him pausing on some street corner or in the middle of some crowd on the sidewalk. Dressed in a dark suit looking totally out of place in this festive little village, but oddly persistent in showing up in places that Matt frequented. Was he from a tabloid tailing him for a big story on what had really happened to him when he apparently dropped off the face of the earth? He guessed he'd find out soon enough because if the man were tailing or watching him, the reason would be made clear soon enough one way or another.

He had gotten some breakfast at a nearby café and then had decided to check out the nearby forest and hillsides, taking a small bus to the base of one of the nearby mountains, deciding to hike up it and check out the view in the surrounding valley.

One of his favorite activities had always been mountain climbing especially when he needed to get away from it all and up some place high to think. He had been doing that a lot in the past week or so once he decided to keep from closing his mind while he kept moving from place to place, country to country. E had packed up a lunch kit he had picked up at the grocery store in a small pack and had gotten off the bus and had began his climb up a narrow trail that wove in its beginning between trees in a small grove, then through a meadow that had been filled with flowers at one time.

These mountains were somewhat different than those he had climbed at home in California and different from those in Mexico, where he had stopped to check out some old ruins of a prior civilization. The air felt brisk, a soft breeze caressing his face as he continued up the incline.

If he had been back in L.A., he would be working a case alongside his uncle or C.J., perhaps staking out some business or at the marina. Trying so hard to focus on what he had been doing and not on the events which shook his life up. Idly he wondered how his uncle and best friend had been faring, as he had stuck to his resolve to cut himself completely from his old life at least for the time being. He just felt too restless, too stirred up still to be able to do more on the phone than to fall into the routine of checking up on business.

He had lost the guy who had been outside his motel doing something besides just behaving ordinarily. Since he was traveling alone sometimes in some risky places, he kept his attention on what happened around him, his senses sharp but except for the mugging in Baja, he had done pretty well. But there had been a lot to be said about having the ability to just take off when it suited him, spend his days like this checking out the highlights of his temporary homes, to interact with the locals as he chose or to spend most of his time alone. It all depended on whether he wanted to think or remember. This morning, he just wanted to keep moving but on a path that took him somewhere. Clarissa had filled the role of helping him fix Elizabeth, well not so much her but what she had represented. And to forget the last time he had seen C.J. in his beach house.

He stopped to take a deep breath of the cleansing air while closing his eyes, thinking he certainly could have handled that better. Maybe listen to what she tried to tell him, that she had taken the step of risking her own feelings to be honest. Too bad he hadn't been in the mood to listen, just too busy packing his bags so he could flee out the nearest exist as soon as possible rather than to think of what he was doing. He didn't leave too quickly to see the expression on her face when she realized he would be gone. Knowing that he had hurt her while doing it.

She had always been there for him no matter the personal cost. Even getting shot for him with no questions asked, and he had been reminded of that during their last conversation but although he had felt torn, he had still left her.

Hopefully she had forgiven himself for that. He reached the final turn onto what looked like a shelf in the mountainside that would provide him with a breathtaking view.

It did, with patterns of green, gold and tan below him as far as the eye could see. He sat down and unpacked his bag to take a sip of his coffee while he looked out towards the horizon.

* * *

Kelly had changed into some clothes for the first time since her arrival that she wouldn't be sleeping in and it felt invigorating to slip on a pair of old jeans and a loosely fitting shirt. Bonnie had brought over a bag of old clothing when she found out about the woman staying at the ranch. Like the other neighbors, she didn't ask the questions that had been on her face but had accepted her as part of Thea's household.

She thought that Bonnie fancied Jed more than a little bit but hadn't been too sure about that. Although she didn't talk much, Kelly had been aware of the body language between the two, who on the surface appeared so very different. Bonnie had been extraverted and always throwing herself into the social mixture whenever she had dropped by and Jed, more reflective and on the quiet side like Kelly. She knew his past held painful secrets like her own and that caused him to understand her in a way the others hadn't. He had been very understanding, nodding when she explained to him that she needed to help out in some way and something had flickered in his eyes while she said that and she had just known that he had gone into ranch work for the same reason.

To leave the past behind and to cut off memories of it, remembrances which did no good except to serve as reminders that nothing could be changed. Focusing on the present, that could be done and let the future take care of itself.

She had been working on some apples that Thea had given her to prepare to make plenty of cider for the guests at the party. Bonnie had apparently gotten some help at the general store so she could leave it and Silver Lode earlier to drive on to the ranch. She and Thea had been working on some desserts in the spirit of the holiday which would supplement the sweets that the children would have gotten from the other ranches before even arriving for the party.

"Now Bonnie, you know that the Hamptons hadn't even moved to town yet," Thea said, "And Millicent hasn't been holding out on us with the plans for the Christmas social."

The other woman sighed.

"I know that but you have to admit it's pretty odd isn't it?"

Kelly listened to them in a detached way, realizing that Bonnie had an eye for detail and an ear for anything not sounding right. She wondered if the woman suspected anything about her coming from out of nowhere and staying on the ranch, especially considering her injuries. But she did like the woman as much as she could anyone these days. Most of the time she felt numb, as if she had slipped out of her body into someone else's. Because after all, this one didn't belong to her because he had seen to that in different ways.

"I think she's hiding something in that barn of hers," Bonnie continued, "She's been seen out there after dark."

"Maybe it's a project," Thea pointed out, "and besides if she wanted anyone to know her business, she'd have it printed in the weekly newspaper."

Bonnie sighed.

"I know but it's just so odd."

Thea looked over at Kelly and gave her a smile.

"Sometimes it's not our place to know everything Bonnie," she said, "She's entitled to her secrets."

Kelly listened and hoped at least that for that woman, hers were better than her own. But she had been successful at keeping them at bay as long as she kept busy. And at night, she would just close her eyes tightly so she wouldn't look out at the dancing shadows on the walls of her room and see something else.

Or someone.

She knew that the man was far away, out in the world looking for her and that he had hired more of the best professionals to try and find her, to capture her and bring her back to him. Telling anyone about him wouldn't make her any safer; it would just spread the net of danger because this man clearly had reach all over the world. He had taught her that when he had held her down one night, when she had turned her face away from him as he slipped the negligee he had bought for her off of her in preparation for what she knew would follow. And she had closed her eyes to keep a part of herself away from him, waiting for him to hit her to force her compliance as he had done that first night. But it had never come, instead he had forced a photograph in front of her and his soft words had made her eyes open.

A photo of a young man standing on the top of some summit in what looked like Mexico, no doubt looking at a gorgeous view all around him. She hadn't needed to see his face to know it had been Matt.

"My guy came up to him awfully close to take that photo," the man said, "All it would have taken was one push and no one ever would have found him."

She had listened to him and she believed him, but if he had that kind of power and reach to know something about Matt that even those closest to him hadn't known.

That photo and others like it had enslaved her to him. But she had kept them all, storing them beneath the mattress of where they kept her. At night, she would pull one out and hold it in her hand, against her as she tried to fall asleep.

No doubt they had found them there in her empty cell. She didn't even know for sure that Matt still lived in the world out there somewhere except what she felt. Wandering out there somewhere, trying to find what had been missing and unaware of what had happened to her after he had left.

Did he think about what he had left behind in L.A. and the people who loved him? Matt wasn't a selfish person by any means but the tormented look in his eye that last night had frozen her in her tracks. She had never seen that side of him, well except on isolated occasions after the few events that had really traumatized him by ripping a hole in the fabric of everything she knew.

She could definitely relate to that.

"Kelly…"

She looked up suddenly to see Bonnie looking at her.

"It's good to see you here."

Kelly put a smile on her face, still trying to feel her way through exactly what it meant to be back among people again, sitting together drinking tea and talking about ordinary things that might be discussed as if they were nothing special. But she couldn't deny that a small part of her warmed to think she might find that place again.

* * *

Matt looked around the summit before heading on down. The sun shone but not too hot and he picked up his pack to head back to the village. He wondered if Clarissa had returned from her visit with friends and might be up to going to this Halloween party that had been advertised through fliers posted on some of the businesses and light posts. A little socializing and some drinking might not hurt right now, after all the schedule he followed was an internal one for a change. No planners, no updates and no reminders of the meetings he had to attend.

He started to head down and then he almost literally bumped into a tall man with a muscular build, light brown hair and piercing eyes, the color of which Matt couldn't make out.

"Excuse me…"

The man smiled easily enough. Matt saw that though his wardrobe was casual, the fabric and style was of high quality.

"No problem," the man said, "I walked down pretty quickly. I was checking out the south end."

The man had a clipped accent, probably European but Matt supposed he sounded pretty foreign to the man as well.

"It sure is a beautiful view."

The man nodded.

"I came to Berlin for pressing business but I stopped here on the way back for some relaxation," he said, "anyplace where you can look down on the rest of the earth to remember how insignificant it all is in the scheme of things."

Matt knew all about that.

"Where you based?"

The man smiled again.

"Just about everywhere on this great continent and other places as well," he said, "but I've got offices other places as well."

Sounded like his own life, Matt thought.

"And you're obviously American," the man pointed out, "I would guess Texas?"

"Houston," Matt said, "Grew up on a ranch just outside of it."

"That must have been interesting," the man said, "Growing up in the outdoors. I have an estate or two that are in rather rustic surroundings."

"It help keeps the head clear…when I have a decision to make about a business deal."

The man's face lit up.

"Ah you are a businessman," he said, "So you know how crazy it can get."

Matt smiled.

"I know a thing or two," he said, "I don't handle the day to day operation anymore."

"Then it helps to have the most capable employees," the man said, "I work in pharmaceuticals, computer technology and buying and selling…other commodities."

"Sounds interesting…well I've got to get going," Matt said, "I have some things I have to do."

"Never can quite leave the business at home can you," the man said, "I'm heading back later myself because I'm planning on checking out the nightlife. A couple of what you would call…Halloween parties?"

"I might be doing that myself," Matt said, "I'm not sure what my plans are."

"Then maybe I'll see you here," the man said, "and we can maybe discuss our businesses a little further?"

Matt hedged.

"I'm on an open ended sabbatical," he said, "I'm trying to get away from all that for a while."

"I understand," the man said, "I however have a business crisis of sorts I do have to get back to, one of my deliveries got…diverted."

Matt nodded and then the two men said their goodbyes and headed in different directions.


	3. Chapter 3

This one's not quite done but here's the next part…hope you enjoy it and thanks for reading and the feedback!

* * *

The pumpkins sat in a row on the kitchen counter after having faces carved into them by Bonnie who welded quite a mean knife and Jed who she clearly fancied even without saying it. Kelly watched them working silently next to each other, a comfortable distance apart in companionable silence for the most part except when one of them interjected some comment.

She had watched Jed for a while and had found that unlike most men, she didn't fear him. She didn't look at his face and see someone else's, but what she did see was a layer of sadness beneath his silence. Clearly she wasn't the only one at the ranch with a secret that she kept hidden beneath a careful smile.

Bonnie on the other hand expressed herself on almost every topic from interior decorating to relationships. She had asked some questions when she had first met Kelly but she hadn't done that lately.

"That looks like devilish," Bonnie said, about one of the pumpkins.

Jed looked at it quizzically.

"It's supposed to be a goblin," he said, "but it's been a while since I've done this."

Bonnie rolled her eyes.

"It's so nice of you to volunteer this year," she said, "and your artistic skills are nearly as good as your poetry."

Kelly listened to the banter, curious but not joining in, content to keep working on the cider which was coming along quite well.

"Well you asked so nicely," he said, "How could I say no?"

Kelly sensed that Jed liked Bonnie too so maybe his reticence with her came from someplace else, maybe his past before he came to the ranch some years ago. Clearly the woman had been working on Jed for a while, chipping away slowly at his reserve. But she didn't blame Jed for being resistant to her attempts to get in, keeping that part of him carefully hidden away. At least with her, she now lived miles away from everyone she knew which offered her greater protection, she didn't think she could even look at anyone familiar to her now.

Least of all Matt, who after all hadn't been seen or heard from by anyone in the past few months since he had taken off. Because she had escaped from her kidnapper, she no longer received regular updates on where he had been and what he had been doing to keep her from fighting him. She closed her eyes suddenly, putting down her stirring spoon as she pushed another quick memory of him away.

Thea walked back in the kitchen joining them, and walking to the stove to pour some coffee.

"Well it's a bit chilly outside," she said, "but it looks like we'll be having a crowd here tonight…"

Kelly remembered back when she had been younger growing up in Texas and how they had Halloween parties to break up the tedium of working the ranches in the autumn mixed with attending school. A time of year when she and most other ranchers' kids had so little free time but needed to cut loose in a bad way before winter arrived and on Halloween that's what they usually did. Bill Houston had held the most popular Halloween parties and the highlight after a scavenger hunt held on the ranch was when they congregated in the barn under the glow of flashlights and told scary stories listening to the wind rustle through the trees and the coyotes howling.

"Kelly…your cider looks like it's coming along just nicely."

She nodded, her hand feeling a bit cramped because she couldn't switch to the other because of the heavy bandage. Hopefully it would be coming off soon, though the doctor thought that the wrist might need surgery to repair properly, something she couldn't have done right now. So it still ached a bit but she had been able to start moving her fingers better.

"The apples are just the right texture," she said, "Hopefully there will be enough."

Thea chuckled.

"Well we can make a couple of batches and it will go fast but I think everyone will get a taste."

Kelly had sampled it and the rich flavor of the different kinds of apples had tasted delicious and she had enough apples for another batch if she could finish it in time. Her injuries had slowed her down but she had plenty to start with if the guests started arriving soon. And working diligently on a project even making apple cider helped keep her mind off of herself for at least a little while.

It kept her own demons at bay.

When they threatened to return, she just turned her mind back to the different steps in completing her recipe and her focus had been enough at least while it still had been daylight. But then nights were more difficult to face staring out into the darkness as she had back in that other place.

Bonnie got up and went to where Thea stood by the stove.

"Her bruises are healing," she said, "Whoever did that to her…"

Thea sighed.

"Bonnie…she doesn't really want to talk about it," she said, "or anyone to worry."

"So…did she leave a man?"

"In a matter of speaking…yes," Thea said, "But he's still after her. And no one's supposed to know she's living with us."

Bonnie took a cup of coffee.

"I haven't said anything," she said, "and since it's been getting colder, no one's been out much to notice a newcomer. But if she left a man, he might be trying to find her…and if he does…it could get violent."

Thea nodded, knowing her friend was right.

"I mean I'm just saying that's all."

"I know…but we've decided to help her for as long as she needs it," Thea said, "She doesn't really have anyone else and the safest place for her right now is here."

Bonnie shook her head.

"I'll help her," she said, "You just tell me how I can do it. She seems nice enough, if a little quiet."

Thea looked over at where Kelly worked, her eyes sharply focused on her task as she knew they probably had done back in her old life.

"She's only being silent until she finds her voice again."

* * *

Matt returned to the village and headed back to his motel room to take a shower before getting dressed to spend his evening out checking out the parties. Clarissa had left a message with the manager that she would be at the same bar that they had ended up last night and she hoped to see him there. He didn't have to worry that what they had shared would be anything more than two strangers passing through the same corner of the world. But that didn't mean they still couldn't have some fun. Matt was certainly open to that as he would be heading out on the road again probably tomorrow but hadn't decided on any destination yet. Often he had just taken off walking or hopped on a bus or a train to see where he ended up. So much different than how he had lived his life for so long.

He had bummed around Europe as a teenager when his grandmother had sent him there to get some culture. Met up with all kinds of interesting characters including a man who had saved his life back then only to return years later to L.A. and betray him. Nearly killing his close friend Vince and alienating his young daughter who had been in a boarding school. As they carted off that man to be incarcerated for the rest of his life, Matt had realized that some of his friends he just never really knew as well as he thought. Because the red flags with that guy had been apparent through his reckless behavior and need to have others come and rescue him from his own mistakes. Those qualities had also been present in Robert Tyler who would also return to L.A. to betray them and to break C.J.'s heart.

Damn there he went again thinking about her, the one part of his life he had ran away from the furthest and the fastest even though that hadn't been his intention. He flashed back to the last time he had seen her standing in his house, right in front of him with her hands on her hips watching him as he threw clothing in his duffel bag. He had left out his front door without looking back because he didn't want to see her face then. If he had…he might have stayed and he really had to leave before his life smothered him, before he became someone he didn't want to be.

She would understand when he did return, because when he was done traveling and had his life figured out, he would return home. Back to the life that he had left behind just for a little while, he told himself whenever he needed to be reminded because the restlessness he felt hadn't left him.

He changed into some casual wear that would allow him to fit in even if he didn't wear a costume and left the motel. He glanced around him but didn't see the man that had been a fixture earlier. But if he were truly being followed, then it could be just about anyone. He walked down the street that once again had filled with people caught up in an air of festivity. Different bars were open, with people in costume standing outside welcoming people inside. He looked around for Clarissa and finally saw her standing outside the familiar bar which had been decorated with pumpkins in the front and some ghosts and skeletons hanging around. She smiled when she saw him.

"Oh good, I thought I was the only one not dressed right."

As it turned out, after they walked inside the bar, they discovered that most people were dressed in ordinary clothes. In this village, the wardrobe of choice seemed to be downright casual, simple dresses for many of the women and pants and jackets for the men. A waiter brought them some beer even before they found a place to sit down.

"There's a foreigner hosting this party tonight at a house up that hill down the street," she said, "Maybe we should check it out. Fully stocked bar and band, a lot of people are talking about it."

Matt considered it and decided that sounded good.

"We'll catch a beer here and then head on over," he said.

She smiled and tilted her head.

"You're sounding very relaxed…"

He sipped his beer.

"I hiked up that mountain to check out the amazing view," he said, "Beautiful day for it."

She fingered her glass.

"The mountain climbing here is supposed to be great," she said, "It's not my thing but I heard it's great."

"How'd it go with your friends," he asked.

She shrugged.

"We talked, we ate good food," she said, "They're heading to Paris. I'll be going back to London in a couple of days."

"Oh I thought…"

"Yeah well, the boss called me this morning," she said, "I have a special project to handle and it's supposed to be worth some major dinero which is always nice to have around."

Matt nodded.

"The world of business can be unpredictable."

She harrumphed.

"You're telling me," she said, "I was really enjoying my time off."

He stroked his forehead.

"Well you still have a couple of days," he said, "and I'll be out of here tomorrow…"

"Already moving on?"

"Yeah…I want to check out the sights in the south of Spain, Seville to start with," he said, "before I head to the Caribbean."

She sighed.

"Sounds nice," she said, "My boss…he's very upset about something that one of his partners did and now he wants me to help him fix it."

"Maybe someday you'll be in charge," he said.

"Not in this company," she said, "I'm a woman and this is as far as I'm going."

Matt had been about to explain about how attitudes towards women in the business world had changed markedly in the last decade or so but the look on her face told him not to go there.

"You can work for another company…"

She looked at him then with something on her face he couldn't identify, before shaking her head slowly.

"It doesn't work that way."

"Clarissa…"

She smiled then and he knew she would change the subject and get the conversation back to the holiday. After all, he knew a closed door when he saw it.

"Come on, let's finish up here and head to that happening party, okay?"

He finished up his beer and away they went.

* * *

The children began showing up at the front door to be let inside the warmth of the ranch house. They wore an array of different costumes from clowns to devils to witches and many of them already carried bags of candy and other treats. But Jed summoned them into the living room with a big smile and they followed him to where they could relax as much as kids do and get warm by the fire.

Bonnie brought them cider that Kelly had just finished making and the kids grabbed for their cups eagerly. Cupcakes and cookies bearing designs fitting for the holiday followed and were met just as quickly.

Kelly had stayed in the kitchen, washing the dishes and looking out into the fading sunlight which would be replaced by pale moonlight. The air had turned frigid already and she watched as a breeze rustled through the leaves causing shadows to dance around. She tried not to read anything into them that wasn't there, or any person.

Thea walked up to place more dishes in the sink.

"This can wait," she said, "Why don't you go sit by the fire?"

Kelly looked up at her.

"It's too…"

"Many people that you don't know?"

Kelly nodded.

"I try to feel their happiness but I can't…I don't feel anything…"

Thea sighed.

"You've gone through a very traumatic experience," she said, "You're going to feel like that for a while. It's your mind's way of protecting itself but it will lessen over time and that will change."

Kelly listened to the words but didn't think that would happen with her. She could barely feel the cold when she had stepped outside and the festivity of the holiday hadn't penetrated enough for her to know it was there. She had lost her capacity to feel anything at all and in the face of others who could, it had left her feeling tremendously isolated.

"Your physical injuries are mending already," Thea said, "Your emotional ones are deeper but they'll heal too but it's going to take some time, probably a lot of time."

All she had was time, time enough until he found her and tried to take her back, not that she would let him. She would die first before she would let him touch her again. Even if it meant never seeing the ones she loved again.

"I just want to go back to before…and I can never go there again…never…"

She forced the tears from coming to her eyes but Thea saw the struggle that took place inside of her and she placed her hand on Kelly's uninjured shoulder.

"I know…but you need to be around people who care about you and they're right here," she said, "We're not your family but we will take of you and be there when you need us."

Kelly still fought that familiar war within herself but she forced herself to nod anyway.

"Come on…it's warmer by the fire…"

The two of them left the kitchen and went to sit on the sofa, where indeed the heat from the flames had left the room feeling quite cozy, the kids had started chattering about their trick or treating and the adults began to talk about the parts of their life they were often too busy to think about. Bonnie and a couple of the mothers of the children talked about who was doing what with whom in Silver Lode and the surrounding area.

"Did you see how that hussy at the newspaper broke another heart," one woman said, hand over heart.

Several other women nodded.

"She dumped poor old Joe again too," one said, "He'd been carrying for a blow torch for the wrong woman."

Bonnie sighed.

"That's not the way I heard it," she said, "Lizzie came into the general store and said that there was no man that was safe from Sydney once she went after them. Claiming she wanted to do a feature story for the newspaper."

Several women harrumphed.

"Well she's not getting my Stanley," another woman said, "Of course he's a bit older than she usually goes after."

Kelly sighed from where she sat, thinking a reporter was the last person she'd need to bump into but she had to go to town soon. She had been feeling sick in the mornings still even though the infection had burned out and her fatigue kept dragging. She didn't even want to think what that might mean or what she would do if left with a permanent reminder of what she had escaped. She had counted backwards…six weeks since he had last used her. So she had to find out for herself.

And she didn't want anyone else to know because then would come questions she didn't want to answer. Just the thought…she wanted to run again.

She looked around the room instead, trying to calm her racing heart…no she was still recovering from what happened, the infection had simply left her weak and tired. Sometimes she looked at Thea and she wanted to talk, to let it all spill from her in one swift current of words but what held them back instead remained strong, its determination stronger than her will to tell.

The women talked and their voices became quieter, the children's own laughter muffled and instead she felt the disassociation, the rasping of her own breath, the staccato beat…and she just closed her eyes trying to ground herself before her moorings became detached and sent her along an entirely different current than the one that had carried her that night to freedom.

"Kelly…"

Her eyes blinked and she swallowed.

"Yes…I'm sorry…"

Bonnie smiled at her.

"Would you like some cake?"

She felt herself become chilled again, the warmth of the fire not reaching deep inside her.

"No…I…"

She clenched her hands, her body tensed as she fought to remain on the sofa, not wanting to fall apart in front of everyone. But her control…began slipping inch by inch; she fought to bring it back. Suddenly, she felt a blanket around her shoulders. She looked up and for a moment she almost saw him smiling at her, like he had done so often because they always been best friends. And for a split second, she just wanted him there so badly, for him to pull her closer to him so that the steady rhythm of his own heart would reassure her own. His gentle hand stroking her hair, her tears dampening his chest as he whispered soothing words in her ears.

But then she knew he was out in the world so far traveling to sort through his own demons, unaware of what she had to do to keep him alive. And that she had been so irrevocably changed, he wouldn't even know her.

"Come on," Bonnie said, "It's going to be okay. You'll see…"

Kelly just gazed at her and nodded slowly, seeing the concern in the woman's eyes. Everyone else had left to go the barn except for her and Thea.

"It's better he doesn't know," she said, "I just hope he's safe and he's happy…"

The two other women looked at each other and then they sat with her a while longer, as the flames crackled the wood in the fireplace.

* * *

Matt sat at a table outside the estate that had hosted the party that had attracted hundreds of people who know dined on refreshments, hit the bar and danced to a retro music band. Clarissa and he had picked up their drinks from the bartender and headed to a table that had been under a tapestry close to an Olympic sized swimming pool complete with sparkling waterfall.

"This place is really rocking…"

Matt looked up at her, absently. His mind had been wandering to places it shouldn't while he had been nursing his Scotch that had been served to him by a pirate.

"Guy who owns it is a big player in the shipping industry," she said, "He's not even here. He's in Crete I think building a new resort."

Matt looked around at the other guests, mostly young people though several looked like they were older business types who had put in quite a few years.

"Who is she…"

He blinked his eyes and looked up at Clarissa who looked at him inquisitively. He sipped his Scotch and Clarissa took that as a cue to continue.

"Is this your ex-fiancée that is on your mind?"

He put a smile on his face.

"Actually no, it's someone else…a close friend."

Clarissa licked her lips.

"She must be pretty close judging by the expression on your face."

He sighed.

"It's just that the way we parted…I should have called her and talked to her about it…check to see how everyone's doing."

Clarissa tilted her head.

"I thought you took off to get away from that all responsibility, to have a good time as they call it."

"Yeah…it's hard to do that sometimes," he said, "But you're right…"

Still he couldn't pull his thoughts away from where they had just taken him. Was everything all right back in L.A. because after all, he had taken off abruptly? He had come here intending to have a good time as part of his plan to spend his time traveling in search of some good times. But inside he had felt a sudden icy breath permeate his lungs, even though they sat close to some thermal heaters which warmed the night air. As if…no everything was okay, it had to be okay because it had been when he left. He cleared his throat to exorcise any negative thoughts away on this holiday night, standing up and reaching for her hand.

"Come on; let's go hit the dance floor."

She smiled at him.

"Sure thing…that sounds like a whole lot of fun," she said.

He took her hand and they went to dance with the other partygoers under the full moon.


	4. Chapter 4

The final installment of this FF holiday story. Hope you enjoy it and thanks for the feedback!

* * *

Matt and Clarissa continued to dance with the other couples as the band played its music.

"This is a really nice night," she said, pulling him closer.

Yeah it was, he thought, not too chilly and the mood had been festive. Most people hung out around the bar where beer and other drinks were on tap. He'd have enough drinks and had been cutting back during his travels, not really missing it. He had been drinking quite a bit before he left town, not enough to get seriously drunk or hung over but simply to ease the ache and the tension inside him. The former had pretty much cleared up on its own but the latter…

When it returned and he felt like it coiling inside him gathering strength, that was when he took off again.

"So you're really leaving tomorrow?"

He saw the expression on her face and knew she was already working on how to get him to remain in town until she had to make her own discussion to return to work. But he had a few countries to visit before he took off on a plane or two to the island down in the Caribbean where Too-Mean's cluster of friends hung out. That last promise he had made to a dying friend had weighed heavily on his mind the last few days just as it had in the months since he lost him on that mission to find and spring Will from the prison camp.

"Yeah…I've got to travel up the continent a bit on my way towards flying out of Heathrow," he said, "I made someone a promise."

She nodded.

"Those are tough to break," she said, "and I'll stop trying to make you do so. It's just that it's been fun to hang out with a fellow wanderer these past several days."

Matt agreed that it had been great but internally he knew that he had to face the fact that he had only really begun to stop running away from his life. He no longer felt that way but he still hadn't been ready to go back home. Not ready to slip back into the pattern of his life and the embrace of his family and friends. He still felt that he hadn't cut it on something so fundamentally important as building family and he didn't know how to change that. It hadn't been all about losing Elizabeth, he had come to terms with that and he hoped that she was happy right now.

C.J. had been the woman who had popped into his mind tonight, as she often did despite his attempts to stop himself from thinking too much about her and what had happened the last time he had seen her, back when he had essentially walked out on her without looking back. Because to do that meant facing a truth that he hadn't wanted to examine. Not when it was so much easier to run.

While they danced a slower dance to a 1970s ballad, his eyes caught the familiar sight across the party. Standing by the bar talking to a couple of men was the same man he had encountered on the mountain earlier that day. Then again, he had said he would be checking out the social action in the village that night. Matt hadn't given him much thought because nothing unusual about a businessman taking off some time away from his hectic life. After all, that's what he had been doing for over two months

The man hadn't arrived in costume either just a casual suit yet he seemed more formal in his demeanor than dress. Clearly from upper society at some point in his background, reared in the importance of social etiquette and in skills that would assist him greatly in his ascension through the business world.

She pulled away from him suddenly and looked up at him.

"What are you looking at," she said, "another woman?"

He shook his head.

"Just saw a man I ran into on my hiking today," he said, "He's over by the bar in the dark jacket."

She glanced over, not seeming very interested.

"A dime a dozen in my world," she said, "That's why I'm here after all like you."

They walked off the dance floor, her arm interlinked in his own.

"I think I'll refresh my drink."

"Scotch," she asked, "Sounds good to me."

He walked over to the bar leaving her and ordered their drinks while the man stood there drinking from his own glass. The other men had clearly moved on and he looked up seeing Matt.

"I guess we travel in the same circles," he said, "A friend of mine actually owns this estate."

Matt raised his brows.

"It's very impressive," he said, "Renovated but by someone who worked with and not against the original architecture."

"You study building design?"

"It interests me," Matt said, "It's better than demolishing the original building and putting up a concrete block."

The man chuckled.

"I greatly agree," He said, "A nation's heritage should be preserved."

"Is that why you're here," Matt asked, "to check out the preservation of historic architecture."

The man shook his head.

"I'm here on vacation but I'm going to have to head back early," he said, "Some merchandise I had been waiting got lost in transit and I know it won't be recovered unless I address it myself."

"That can be frustrating," Matt agreed, "and yes, often the head of the operation does have to resolve it especially if it's valuable."

"Ah, very valuable indeed," the man said, "The most valuable of all."

"I had to track down a missing deed on an oil well," Matt said, "and the licensing rights misappropriated for 20 years by a major company."

"Sounds impressive," the man said, "but I don't deal in oil, or precious gems except as a hobby. I'm into computer technology and pharmaceuticals."

"Research or just sales," Matt asked.

"Both…but they're only part of my operations."

Matt clearly had picked up that this man was a powerful player at least someplace. And from his attitude probably a formidable one, not one to cross clearly. He looked up and saw Clarissa heading towards him. Her smile dimmed momentarily when she saw the man but it returned quickly enough.

"Such a pretty young woman," the man said, "Is she with you?"

"We met up at that party last night," Clarissa said, "He's good company for now but I'm leaving town in the morning."

"Sounds like you're having a good holiday," the man said, and then he frowned, "I have a phone call that I have to take. Excuse me."

* * *

Kelly had worn a thick coat and had gone out to the barn with Bonnie and Thea to join in the storytelling provided by Jed and several other men from the different nearby ranches. The children fell silent, mesmerized by the tales as they unfolded from their circle. Even the adults became enthralled and Kelly knew why, Jed sure knew how to tell a good story, using the right descriptive words to make you feel like you were there where it happened, taking in the sights, sounds and smells. Each time he finished a ghostly tale, the kids asked for one more.

"He sure has them spellbound," Bonnie marveled.

"Jed's so quiet the rest of the time," another woman said, "I just had no idea."

In fact, a couple of the single women seemed more than just a little bit interested in Jed and fascinated by more than just his storytelling abilities. Kelly remembered a time when she might have felt that way herself because Jed certainly could attract many women with his strong and silent type. But now she placed men in two separate categories, those who would hurt her and those who would not. She trusted Jed without knowing why but she didn't think about him any further than that, but she sat on the floor, her back against a bale of hay and one careful eye on the door.

"Tell us the one about the one-eyed pirate ghost again," one boy begged.

And so he did, adding new details to flesh it out almost into an entirely new story. She had heard about Jed's poetry but not his story weaving skills. She thought back to the Halloween nights when she and Matt had joined other ranching kids out at the abandoned barn to listen or tell ghost stories. In the earliest years, it had been out of a sense of childlike fun and in later years, you listened to the stories for a while and then paired off with some boy to make out with in some quite spot behind the hayloft. Not surprisingly Matt had been a popular choice for the girls who fought over him at times. She herself had an assortment of dates including one year, the guy who filled in during her bad boy phase, Brick.

But the Halloween that they had gone to the barn party, Brick being different from the other males wanted to take off early and get serious quickly and she just wasn't up to his speed. They had gotten into an argument as they often had towards the end of their brief tumultuous relationship and Matt had come and sent him packing on his motorcycle quickly enough.

Why'd you do that, she had asked both irate and relieved. Just looking out for you that's all, he said. He had done that plenty of times over the years and she'd done the same for him. Brick hadn't shown his face for a while.

Then she thought, she really had to stop thinking about him. He had made his choice when he had taken off and he would find her a much different woman when he eventually returned. And the thought of that broke her heart, that she wouldn't be the woman he knew, the one who had been his best friend. Scarred in ways that could never be fixed no matter how much she wished it so. She knew he'd never be able to face that truth that he would try to make it better. But something that had been shattered couldn't be put back together, not back to the way it had been before, unmarked.

Shadows danced inside the barn which was dimly lit by flashlights and she didn't like them anymore than she did darkness. Out of the darkness, emerged terrible things more substantial than shadows. You could forget about the night during the day, and the shadows in pools of light but at night, the rules changed and what hid from the sunlight during the day emerged at night in control. She laid back in her bed, many a night and waited with her eyes closed, listening for footsteps in the hallway that didn't belong to guards and for the door to click open.

Sometimes she waited; fear wrapped around her like a damp sheet until sleep came and morning greeted her when her eyes opened. Other nights the doors opened and she'd hear the steps approach, smell the hint of cologne and would await his voice. The touch of his hand on her skin, his fingers bruising in their grip and listen to the creaking of the mattress springs beneath his weight.

Jed's words about ghosts that walked the decks of great ships and of phantom trains roaring through the countryside at night reached her only dimly. Her ears focused instead on any noise that wouldn't belong, any face that appeared in the shadows, her body poised to run.

Instead she got up and walked away from the group, towards the stalls. Towards a buckskin mare named Sienna.

* * *

Matt watched as the man went to take his phone call, the expression on his face changing so that he knew it appeared urgent. Part and parcel of being involved in the business world and having to drop everything and take off to address some pressing problem. He had done it many times himself especially in his earlier years building his conglomerate. Clarissa looked up at him.

"I'll be back in a few…"

He nodded and went back to sit down at the table, after taking a plate of food. The dancing had stimulated his appetite and the food tasted delicious. Clearly catered through some impressive company, one that spared no expense on ingredients, he noted. He thought about his plans for the next day, getting up and catching a late morning train to head to southern France.

Then he heard a scream and looked up. So did everyone else. His well trained eyes scoped the surroundings quickly searching for the source of the noise and they led him right back to where Clarissa stood standing, her eyes wide. He sprinted over to where she stood without thinking and she clung to him. He pushed her away after a moment to look into her face.

"What's going on?"

She sucked in her breath and waved her hand.

"Some guy bumped against me and just ran off with my wallet."

Matt looked around and out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man sprinting around the pool, working his way through the crowd. He took off running after the man who had vaulted over a wall into the meadow on the other side. Matt leapt without thinking and his lungs burning, he kept running, keeping the small squat man in his sights. He inched closer as the man's stride began to grow more uneven and he began looking behind him. His eyes widened when Matt grew closer and he tried to pump his arms to get further away. But when he looked at Matt, he didn't see what stepped into his path. Matt watched as his quarry was quickly tackled by the businessman. The man tried to struggle but clearly the guy who had grabbed him had a wealth of physical strength. They both fell to the damp grass and Matt ran over there to assist in detaining the thief.

With two men on him, the man stopped struggling and the businessman pulled him up with him as he got back on his feet, grass stains on his impeccable suit.

"I give up...," the man protested, "Let me go, you can have the wallet back."

He handed it back to Matt who took it.

"Is anything missing," the businessman asked.

Matt had no idea but a quick examination showed cash and credit cards. He guessed that the man who snatched it did it on impulse hoping to get lucky by hitting a wealthier tourist and hadn't actually had time to check out his prize. No time to do that now, Matt thought as he looked back at the thief.

"You hanging out at parties to rip people off," he said, "Well this time you didn't get away with it and you're going to jail."

The man started to protest.

"I gave back the wallet back," he said, "Just let me go and I promise I won't do it again."

Matt just rolled his eyes at the thief's attempts at earnestness.

"I'm sorry but you're a criminal…"

The businessman put his hand up.

"I'll make sure he gets what's coming to him," he said, "I'll call for some reinforcements who will guard him until the police pick him up."

Matt hedged; wanting to make sure this thief was taken care of, because most likely, he had done this many times.

"You need to get back to her and give her back what was stolen," the businessman continued, "I'll handle it here."

Matt sighed.

"Okay…I'll leave it to you then," he said, "She'll be happy that nothing's apparently missing."

He then left the two men alone to head back to join Clarissa with her wallet in hand. When he was gone, the thief turned to the businessman.

"Did you see that guy," he said, "I'm lucky you got to me first."

The business man stared at him.

"You did fine," he said, "Now you'll be compensated."

"How much," the thief said, "Because I'm thinking of raising my price."

"I'll take that under consideration," the businessman said, moving closer.

"Yeah because I've got things to consider too like how I'm going to pay my debt back."

The businessman smiled and put his arm around the man's shoulders.

"Don't worry about that," he said, "It's been handled."

And with one swift move with his hands, he snapped the man's neck cutting off any sigh of relief, and watched as the thief slid to the grass in a heap.

"Consider your debt repaid."

Then he adjusted his jacket and returned to the party.

Matt returned the purse to Clarissa who examined it quickly and said nothing had gone missing.

"I'm so thankful to you," she said, "When that man…it happened so fast but you risked your life to get it back for me."

He smiled.

"All in a day's work…"

She smiled back at him.

"Are you like some kind of superhero underneath your mild mannered and very sexy exterior?"

"Just an average man who couldn't turn away from a damsel in distress," he said, "but that businessman really captured him. He's waiting with him until the police pick him up."

Clarissa frowned.

"I wish I could thank him too."

"Maybe you'll have a chance later on," he said, "I'm sure he'll be back."

She looked around the party and her eyes narrowed.

"He already has returned," she said, "The police must respond quickly here for such a small village."

Matt saw the businessman talking to some guests and wondered about that.

* * *

She stroked the mane and then the strongly muscled neck of the mare who nudged her with her nose. Sienna had been the mare that Kelly had blindly reached for the night before and she obviously bore her no ill will. She had since learned that she had been Jonathan's horse while he grew up on the ranch before leaving it.

Sienna nickered softly at Kelly's gentle touch, well practiced by someone who grew up surrounded by horses. She had grown up in the saddle and had spent hours riding through the ranch country usually with Matt. While teens, they had often raced their steeds across the fields, pushing to outdo the other until the first one reached the stream where they would tie their horses loosely to a sturdy tree and then spend hours fishing or just sitting on the banks talking to each other.

Horses sensed their riders' moods and she wondered if the mare knew how fear had laced her determination to race her across the icy meadow. She stroked the mare's nose and she heard the footsteps behind her and she braced for his touch, without realizing it. Terror rushed through her veins like ice and she steeled herself to turn around and face him.

Even thousands of miles away from her, he still owned her.

"We're finished with the stories," Jed said, "and heading on inside if you'd like to join us."

She turned around and forced a smile on her face before her eyes met his own. He looked at her inquisitively and she nodded.

"That's fine," she said, "I'm just saying goodnight to Sienna here."

He smiled at that.

"She's a great mare," he said, "Strong and quick, and full of heart. She saved Jonathan's life more than once."

"She saved mine too," Kelly said, "I didn't know what I was doing riding on her like that last night."

He shook his head.

"Yes you did…you responded on pure instinct, being of ranching stock," he said, "You didn't need to think, you acted."

She smiled at his praise.

"I'm glad none of the mares died."

"Me too," Jed said, "They'll be back when we can build some temporary shelter for them."

She looked back at the floor.

"I'd like to…help, you know do more to pitch in…I know I can't do much right now…"

He rubbed his forehead.

"I'll tell you what, you rest up for one more week then I'll find you something to do…light at first."

She smiled wider than she thought possible and relief filled her.

"I'll do anything you need," she said, "I think the work will help me get stronger. Use some muscles I hadn't in a while."

He nodded.

"I think it'll do that and help you in other ways as well," he said, "I do understand what you're going through. We've all got our difficult journeys that challenge every part of us but you'll make it through your gauntlet."

His confidence helped lift her spirits.

"I hope so…I don't want to be like this forever."

"Take each day at a time, just like you'd climb a tall mountain one step at a time," he said, "There'll come a time when you look back and you'll see how far you've traveled."

With that sage advice said, they both left the barn to head to the house to join the others and she felt the weight inside her lighten just a little bit.

* * *

Clarissa had grown restless at the party, partly fueled by the adrenalin generated by her run in with the thief. She stroked his face while he finished his Scotch.

"Let's head on back," she said, "I know you're leaving in the morning but it's still dark and we've got plenty of time to say goodbye."

He nodded and they headed towards the exit of the party which still was in full swing. They ran into the businessman at the gate and stopped to say goodbye.

"Thanks so much for what you did," Clarissa said, "I'll never forget it."

The man smiled.

"It's nothing…just pass it along for someone else."

"That's such a nice thought…I'll do that, thanks."

Matt shook the man's hand and reached into his pocket for his wallet to hand him a business card.

"The name's Matt Houston," he said, "I'm on the road now but give me a call and I'll return it when I get back to L.A."

The man looked at the card and then reached to retrieve his own wallet to pull out his business card.

"I'm Stefan Kostas," he said, "but you can call me Stefan and I'll look forward into getting in touch with you in a couple months or so."

Matt smiled and started to leave. Clarissa walked with him for a few moments until they reached the end of the street. She bit her lip.

"I forgot something," she said, "I'll be right back."

"I'll be waiting here…"

He watched her walk quickly back and disappear once again into the party.

Clarissa walked by and felt him grab her arm to stop her.

"I thought you left…"

She stared up at him and smiled.

"I just wanted to tell you that you send one of your flunkies like that again and I'll walk."

He chuckled and stroked her arm, not as idly as it appeared.

"You know the price that you'll pay if you betray me Sasha," he said, "I'm not a forgiving man."

Her hand shook as she pulled her arm away.

"Why did we do all this," she asked, "Matt Houston is a man who has his own problems keeping him from stopping you from finding the same woman he is running away from."

Stefan sighed.

"I paid good money for that woman to be the latest in my collection," he said, "She's quite a prize indeed and Duval left her in the hands of incompetents. He got too involved with this piece of property and that will be his downfall."

"No one's seen her since," she said, "If she doesn't want to be found with a man like Matt to train her how to hide…he can send an army of bounty hunters and they won't find her."

"I will find her before Duval does and then I will take care of him," Stefan said, "There's only rule for one capo in this operation and it's going to be me."

Sasha looked up at him and knew he was right. Whatever Stefan wanted, he usually got in spades. She just shook her head at him, both in awe and fear of the man who had plucked her out of a small village in Italy and had molded her into one of his top procurers of merchandise. Her easy going manner and delicate style of dealing with people made her marks trust her all the time she led them into her snare until it became too late.

She knew she had become the best, having been groomed by the woman who had done that to her back when she had been foolish and weak. When it became time to slip into her mentor's position, she did it easily enough. A slice to the woman's throat when she least expected it and Sasha got her promotion.

But Matt, he had shaken her resolve in a matter of days, no better he did leave and they went their separate ways.

"You'd better head on back to him before he suspects anything."

She looked directly at him.

"He won't…and I'll be back to the London office in two days…"

With that, she turned and walked down through the gate to rejoin Matt.


End file.
